Giant friggin' Gummy Bears
Alright, this is going to gross some people out and delight other people. For someone who has a penchant for squishy things and also sweet things, this 9.5 inch edible Gummy Bear from Vat19 is the answer to a prayer you never knew your were praying. At 5 pounds and 90 servings, it packs a whopping 12,600 calories. I *so* wish I'd known about this on Valentine's Day. As the site says: "These are real. These are awesome. You can buy them."
And for those of you that prefer to eat more daintily or like things on sticks, there's gummy bear on a stick for you. Oh, and there are also gummy shot glasses.
Man, things like this remind me of what I love about humans and their enterprising nature.